


And This Is Why Archangel Trickster Gods Make Terrible Godfathers

by Nevcolleil



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Implied Mpreg, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-29
Updated: 2020-12-29
Packaged: 2021-03-11 03:53:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 769
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28408806
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nevcolleil/pseuds/Nevcolleil
Summary: “Ooh, no. My little bro gets knocked up by Dad’s precious “righteous man”… and I don’t get to stick around and hear him break the news to the proud papa? No way, Jose. Not doing.”
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Comments: 1
Kudos: 36





	And This Is Why Archangel Trickster Gods Make Terrible Godfathers

“Dude. You’re shitting me.”

“No. No, that’s how he’ll get the-”

“Say it and I break your face.”

Gabriel raises his hands and mimicks locking his lips with an invisible key. The sound of a rusted lock turning accompanies the gesture.

Castiel sighs. “Gabriel. Please leave.”

Gabriel chuckles, kicking his heels up on the tiny table in the corner of the motel room. “Ooh, no. My little bro gets knocked up by Dad’s precious “righteous man”… and I don’t get to stick around and hear him break the news to the proud papa? No way, Jose. Not doing.”

Dean sits heavily upon the edge of the nearby bed. I say ‘ _sits heavily_ ’ because ‘collapses’ sounds so much less manly - and Dean is feeling plenty emasculated at the moment, coincidentally enough.

“How did this hap-” Dean begins, and then glares at Gabriel who is already raising an eyebrow. “ _Shut up_ ,” he says firmly. Then he turns back to Cas. “I mean, how is this _possible_?”

Cas takes a seat by Dean. “It is the way of our kind. I was not aware that it could happen with a human as the father, but apparently-” He smiles weakly. “With Dean Winchester, all things are possible.”

It’s kind of smarmy - and Dean’s still freaked out about the Cas is PREGNANT thing - but he kinda wants to kiss Cas, badly, at this moment.

Then Gabriel opens his big mouth again.

“But that’s not the important part, Deano,” Gabriel says. “The important part is what happens next. Tell him, Cas.” He’s grinning.

Dean’s stomach always sinks when Gabriel grins.

But Cas doesn’t look panicked. He doesn’t look worried or apologetic, just somewhat… sheepish.

“I… will need to recover my strength after lay-”

“Don’t say it,” Dean requests. He is aware that he will need to be exponentially more sensitive after today (if angels are anything like human women when they’re pregnant - and Cas would probably say no, but Dean is betting on yes - then Dean’ll get himself smited, and rightfully so, by not showing some sympathy). But he thinks he’s allowed a little insensitivity in the first fifteen minutes of learning that he’s _unknowingly impregnated a male celestial being_.

Cas hardly blinks. “I will need to recover my strength. Meanwhile, the… eggs,” he continues, and Dean doesn’t stop him because- Well. What else are you gonna call them? “Must be kept warm so that are offspring can develop while I am gone.”

“ _Gone_?” Dean’s voice decidedly does not squeak as he says this. It can’t, because Gabriel can’t hear Dean whine about not getting to see Cas for a little while.

Assuming it is a little while… which it better the fuck be. Cas is not going to run off and leave Dean with a litter of angel babies and show back up when Dean’s a gray old man.

Cas watches him closely, a wealth of emotions in his eyes that help soothe Dean’s ruffled feathers (no pun intended) before much ruffling can occur.

“I have to return to Heaven for a brief time. No more than a few weeks, by earth standards.”

“Oh. Alright.” But- “Wait… Who has to keep the- to keep them warm while you’re gone?”

Now Cas does look apologetic and just a teensy bit annoyed. Gabriel looks like he’s one iota of good taste away from clapping.

“You do, Deano, my boy!” he says with unholy glee. “You get to babysit the brood while Momma Cas takes her sabbatical.”

“ _Gabriel._ ” Cas sends a disapproving glare his way.

“Cas-”

“Oh, pipe down, papa,” Gabriel directs at Dean. “We’re angels, not chickens. You buy a couple of space heaters at Wal-Mart, plop the kids down on a pillow between them, and walla. You’re aiding in the gestation of as many as six brand spanking new angel-human hybrid babies.”

‘Six.’ Dean feels faint.

“What if we just don’t-” Dean can’t complete the thought aloud. Cas is looking right at him; Gabriel for all his ass-hatishness is a little bit psycho when it comes to family, even by Winchester standards. And these are Dean’s kids they’re talking about; his kids with Cas.

“-talk about this anymore,” Dean finishes weakly. Cas breathes deeply and smiles.

“Awww, but we haven’t even gotten to the best part,” Gabriel is saying. “Cas, you’ve gotta tell him about-”

“That’s enough for now, Gabriel,” Cas says firmly.

“But-”

The lights flicker and Gabriel, badass archangel big bro or no, falls wisely silent.

“Fine,” he concedes. “I gotta go tell Unca Sammy the good news anyhow.”

He snaps his fingers and disappears before Dean or Cas can say anything else.


End file.
